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Hey friend,

Can we talk about bedtime for a second.

Not the soft, Pinterest version.
The real version.
Where you have one hour to be a loving family and a competent adult, and somehow it turns into a courtroom drama over the bathtub.

If you have smallish kids, you get it.
If you have a spouse who sometimes scrolls like it’s their job, you also get it.

And lately, I realized something kind of painful.

I kept ending my evenings like I had failed.
Like I had to “win” bath time to earn peace.
Like if everyone wasn’t cooperating, then the night was just… ruined.

Then I heard something that stopped me in my tracks.

Melania Trump was talking about her relationship with her husband and her son, and she basically said this idea: they are different people, and they get to make their own decisions. Even when she does not agree.

That hit a nerve, because I realized how often I was trying to carry everyone’s choices like they were my job.

So I made a new rule in our house.

At 7 pm, I start something fun.​
Not after the baths. Not after the arguing. Not after everyone is ready.
​At 7, the fun begins.

Sometimes it’s a game.
Sometimes it’s dessert on a plate that feels mildly illegal for a weekday.
Sometimes it’s a movie night set up, blankets and all.

And here’s the key.

I invite everyone, once.
Then I start.

Which means the choice is suddenly visible.
They can join, or they can miss it.

And let me tell you, that tiny shift was massively relieving for my nervous system.

Because it reminded my body of a truth I forget when I’m tired and trying to hold the whole house together.

I am responsible for my own self.​
I can lead the rhythm of our home.
I can create the moment I want to live inside of.
But I cannot drag other people into presence.

And this is the funny part.

Bath time battles are now basically a thing of the past.

Because our kids do not want to miss the fun. 😉
And I do not want to lose my evening to a battle of wills.

So now, instead of spending my nights trying to force cooperation, I’m practicing something new:

I create the experience.​
​They choose how they show up.​
And my body stays with me either way.

If you’ve been feeling like you’re carrying everyone, consider this your permission slip.

Start the good thing.​
Even if nobody is ready.
Even if the house is loud.
Even if someone is still negotiating with soap.

You deserve an evening that feels like yours, too.

Reply and tell me, what is the nightly battle in your house right now.
I promise I will not judge you if it involves socks, toothbrushes, or a child who suddenly needs an emotional support snack.

With you,
Kimberlie