​

Hey friend. Today I want to talk about something that often shows up when people begin protecting their nervous system.

The first time you protect your nervous system, guilt usually shows up immediately.

Not later.​
​Not after reflection.​
​Right away.

You choose to pause.
You choose not to engage the same way.
You choose to protect your energy.

And suddenly, there it is.

The tightness in your chest.​
​The awareness of someone else’s discomfort.​
​The feeling that you’ve done something wrong.

You feel hurt.
And you feel like you caused hurt.

You become both the hurt one and the one who hurt.

This is one of the most painful and confusing parts of the healing path, and almost no one talks about it.

Not because boundaries are harmful,
but because for many of us, boundaries don’t feel safe yet.

For a long time, safety didn’t come from protecting ourselves.
It came from managing ourselves.

From staying agreeable.
From staying quiet inside.
From making sure others were comfortable, even when we weren’t.

So when you choose yourself, even gently, your body reacts as if you’ve broken a rule.

And in a way, you have.

We’re told boundaries bring relief.
But before relief comes guilt.

Because guilt is what rises when an old identity starts loosening.

Here’s the part that’s hard to hold.

We are responsible for our own healing.​
​And we are responsible for teaching others how to treat us.

But the body will not let us receive
what we do not believe we deserve.

If somewhere inside you don’t believe you deserve to be spoken to with kindness, kindness won’t land.

If you don’t believe you deserve respect,
​respect will feel foreign or unsafe.

If you don’t believe you’re allowed to take up space,
​your system will tighten the moment you try.

This isn’t a mindset problem.
​It’s a belief your body learned long before words were involved.

And there’s another quiet truth here.

Other people can only meet us with the depth they meet themselves.​
Many people have never learned how to sit with discomfort, guilt, or emotional responsibility.

So when you change, they feel it.​
And your body notices their reaction immediately.

Not to punish you.
But to ask a question.

Do you still believe you’re allowed to protect yourself when it feels uncomfortable?

Boundaries don’t begin with behavior.
​They begin with worth.

And if guilt is showing up,
​it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

It means something old is being renegotiated.

That isn’t failure.​
​That’s the beginning.

Keep doing the work because you are worth it,​
Kimberlie